Kinda Morbid...but Death?
Molly Nichols
I have a billion things to do right now, but sitting down to write a blog post felt like the right move for my mental health.
(ALWAYS listen to your mind and body, it’s important).
I recently found out about something that has had me kinda shaken for the past few days and I felt like maybe sharing it with everyone might help me feel better. So here it goes...
Yesterday morning I found out that someone I have known my entire life passed away. I have been feeling weirdly morbid because of how unexpected it was. The strangest part about this death is that I wasn’t particularly close with this person... at all. I have probably spoken a total of five minutes to her in my entire life. My dad’s ex wife. So as you can probably assume she hasn’t been a particularly happy subject within our household. That’s the craziest part about the entire thing, I have no reason to grieve her loss. I wonder if in some weird way this is my empathic side trying to teach me a lesson. It’s strange because I just don’t know why I am feeling this way. Do any of you have any idea?
I mean I guess I could go on and on about how precious life is and yada yada yada. And while I believe whole heartedly that we have to live the life we are given to the absolute fullest, I understand feelings sometimes get in the way. Right now I’m not sure exactly how to feel about my whole situation.
I know a lot of people read blogs in order to gain knowledge of some type of information or to get something out of reading four paragraphs this far. The truth is I don't have any new information for you, I don’t have the answer on how to grieve easier. Maybe the whole process is just shitty for everyone? Most likely. If anyone figures out the way to grieve less fully, or the answer to why we grieve in a way that’s almost detrimental to ourselves...let me know. Until then I’m a big believer in knowing that we are all just taking this step by step.
To everyone out there who hasn’t experienced death at all OR has experienced a plethora of encounters with death, to you both, I’m truly sorry. I think there is something so humbling about knowing that we all have an end, and to those in contrast, it’s terrible to live in constant fear of that ending occurring. Either way you look at it, just be blessed with the time you have. No Regrets. Which is kind of a stupid saying because there’s no possible way to accomplish that. We’re all doing this for the first time so how can we expect not to mess up sometimes. I have said it a million times before and I’ll say it a million times again, it’s OKAY.
Moral of the story so I can avoid making people feel sad and uncomfortable thus far, is to try and align yourself with that no regrets mindset. Buy that cute shirt you don’t think you need, ask that guy for his number if you truly want to see him again. Most of all be open to the new opportunities. I can guarantee you that 90% of the time those new experiences are exactly what you need to pull you through.
Love to you all :)
- Molly
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